In this ten part series we are studying in depth the Ten Commandments. Probably no ancient legal code is better known in the Western World than these ten precepts given to Moses by God on Mount Sinai. But, as we have discussed, most people today are only vaguely familiar with what they actually say. The first four commandments all prescribe Israel’s, and our, relationship to the LORD (Yahweh) Himself. The Israelites, and all other people for that matter, are not to worship or even acknowledge the existence of any other gods. Likewise, we are not to make idols of wood, stone, or metal to any other supposed deities. To do so will negatively effect later generations.
We also are commanded not to use the LORD’s name in vain. As we showed, that includes swearing, lying under oath, and deceiving people in His name. Finally, we are expected by God to take time each week to focus our minds and hearts on Him (the Sabbath Principle). It is no coincidence that the LORD first lays out His own status as the One and Only Infinite, Eternal, True, Creator God. All moral standards given to regulate human relations are therefore based on His absolute Word.
This separates Theistic and Christian ethics from those of other worldviews. For example, Secular Humanists assert they have the best ethical system because it is based entirely on human reason and science. The fact is, though, without some absolute foundation, morality is nothing more than power politics. Whoever or whatever (egs.; the king; a dictator; the state; the military; a religious group; the wealthy; the Party; etc.) has the power to enforce his, her, or its will on society determines what is right or wrong, good or bad, according to his, her, or its whims. As a result, ethics and morality are never absolute and are always subject to change.
So with that Divine absolute principle in mind, in this fifth installment we turn to the first of the remaining six Commandments. All of the rest, Commandments Five through Ten, regulate relationships among people. This one addresses the issue of relations of children to their parents.
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. Exodus 20:12 (All Scripture quotes are from the NASB.)
“Honor” is an intriguing word. In English it has numerous meanings. Here are some examples as listed in Webster’s Online dictionary. Each definition is followed by its common use in a sentence.
1. Honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions: The United States Naval Academy has a very strict code of honor.
2. A source of credit or distinction: A soldier who is awarded the Distinguished Service Medal is an honor to his country. (One of this country’s greatest historical ironies is that the most decorated American unit in World War II was the 442nd Army Battalion. That unit consisted almost entirely of Japanese Americans!)
3. High respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: The President of the United States should be held in great honor.
4. High public esteem; fame; glory: To be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame is to earn a position of honor.
5. Privilege of being associated with or receiving a favor from a respected person, group, etc.: I have the honor of introducing this evening’s speaker.
6. Evidence, as a special ceremony, decoration, scroll, or title, of high rank or distinction: The highest military honor is to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor.
7. Title of respect, esp. for judges and mayors (preceded by His, Her, Your, etc.): All rise, Her Honor Judge Judy is now entering the courtroom!
8. Special rank or distinction conferred by a university, college, or school: The mayor was awarded an honorary Doctor of Laws degree by his alma mater.
9. Moral purity (We don’t hear much about this these days. Time was that it mattered to people what others thought about their moral reputation.): The gallant knight defended his lady’s honor.
10. Honor card (in bridge) – any of the five highest trump cards: She played an honor card and won the game.
11. The privilege of teeing off a golf hole before the other players by making the lowest score on the previous hole. (That’s one reason I did not take up golf. Whenever I played I always went last on every hole.): She shot par on the 12th hole, so she had honors on the 13th.
In Hebrew the verb translated “honor” in the Fifth Commandment is KABED. It is closely related to the noun KABOD which means “glory”; As in “Give glory to God.” So in essence, the commandment stipulates that we are to honor our parents like we give glory to God. This does not mean we are to worship our parents or ancestors, as some religions teach. That would be a violation of the First Commandment. Worship is reserved only for God Himself. That being said, this commandment, and other relevant Scriptures, suggest three reasons why we should honor our parents. Let’s examine them closely.
1. We should honor our parents by obeying them because it is the right thing to do!
In his letter to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul addressed the roles and duties of each member of a nuclear family. Perhaps the ancient Ephesians were facing problems in some of the families of their church, just as is true in every generation. Paul focuses on fathers (and mothers presumably – 6:4), servants (or employees – 6:5-8), and masters (or employers – 6:9). However, he begins this section by reiterating and expanding on the fifth Commandment:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother.'” (Ephesians 6:1-2)
Paul asserts that children are obligated to obey their parents. Why? Because, he says. it is the right thing to do! Notice he ties obedience to parents to the Fifth Commandment’s requirement to honor them. This implies that anyone disobeying his or her parents is, in essence, disobeying God!
This certainly has application for us today. There is nothing uglier than a child or teenager who blatantly disregards the authority of his or her parents. Even grown adults are still obligated to heed the wise advice of their mothers and fathers.
Of course, there is an exception to this rule. If a parent orders an offspring to do something clearly in conflict with God’s will, as specified in His Word, the child should respectfully decline to obey. The child must then be willing to accept whatever consequence that may entail. No child, however (and this is critical to understand), is ever required to tolerate any kind of abuse at the hands of his or her parents, or anyone else (nor should anyone else standby and let it happen). That point is emphasized by Paul as well when he focuses on fathers:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
Parents need to be worthy of their child’s obedience. It is hard to tell a child to behave in a certain way when the parent is doing the same or worse. “Do as I say, not as I do” will never work in a family. As the old saying goes, “Our lowest standard will be our children’s highest standard!”
But Christians need to keep another thing in mind. We also can learn from our parents’ mistakes. This is especially the case for the Christian sons and daughters of unbelieving parents. If we recognize the negative consequences of our parents’ bad behaviors, we can determine not to do them ourselves (or teach them to our children). In any case, we are still to honor them as the parents God gave us.
2. We should honor our parents because our long-term well-being is directly related to it!
How long do you expect to live? 40 years? 60 years? 90 years? Maybe a 100 years? Believe it or not, the fastest growing American population group by age is 100 and over! So there is a good chance you will live a long life. But let’s face it, we simply do not know how much time we have in this world. I graduated from High School in 1970, and already many of my classmates have died.
So are there any things we can we do to help prolong our lives? Obviously, living a healthy lifestyle will make some difference. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink alcohol much (or better, not at all). Don’t do drugs. Exercise regularly. Watch your diet. Those are all good ways that may help to extend our life spans. But even those things are no guarantee. Much of our health and longevity is programed into our DNA. In any case, only God knows the length of our years. Jesus warned us not to take it for granted, but to make the most every day (see Luke 12:13-34).
That being said, the Fifth Commandment has a supplement attached to it. Listen to what Paul says about it.
“Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3)
Paul quotes Exodus 20:12 but interjects the fact that it is the “first commandment with a promise.” These two Scriptures seem to indicate that our life expectancy and personal security are in someway related to how we honor our parents. Does this mean we will live to be 100 if we honor our parents? Only God knows. But this principle reflects the fact that if we follow the teachings of wise parents, we are much less likely to do something foolish that may cut our life short. We all have known young people who have spurned the good guidance of their parents only to not live to regret it.
I think the safety children and youth have by honoring and obeying their fathers and mothers is how God can fulfill this promise. Surely their, and our, well-being is enhanced. There is one other reason why we should honor our parents that Jesus strongly underscored in His teaching. It involves our responsibility to our parents as they get older.
3. We should honor our parents because they will depend on us to care for them and we have an obligation to do so.
At some point in almost all adults’ lives, they face the situation of caring for their aging parents. As the US population grows older, this problem is increasing in scope. Medical care and costs, finding an adequate living environment, special care for physical and mental challenges, and many other aging issues are common concerns for their adult children.
That was also a matter of concern in Biblical times. This was brought to light by Jesus in Matthew’s Gospel when He was challenged by the Pharisees. They were always looking for something which they could use to nail Jesus.
“Then some Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, ‘Why do Your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.'” “And He answered and said to them, ‘Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, “Honor your father and mother,” and, “He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.”‘” “But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever I have that would help you has been given (lit.: an offering) to God,” he is not to honor his father or his mother (by supporting them with it).”‘ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.'” (Matthew 15:1-6)
The Pharisees complained because Jesus’ disciples did not ceremonially wash their hands before eating, as was the tradition. In response, Jesus hits the ball right back into their court. He accuses them of violating the Law because of their traditions. He quotes Exodus 20:12 (Fifth Commandment) and Exodus 21:17:
“He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.”
The Pharisaic tradition Jesus was referring to was called CORBAN, or making an offering to God. It was the way some people would avoid their financial responsibility to their parents. This meant they consecrated that money as a CORBAN offering to God. By claiming the money and property was dedicated to God, they would not have to use it to care for their parents! They could spend it however they wanted. It’s hard for us to imagine that someone would use the excuse of consecrating their money to God in order to avoid a moral responsibility to their family. Apparently, Jesus considered it morally equivalent to cursing one’s father or mother, a sin worthy of death according to the Law.
Jesus’ obvious point was that the tradition of people washing their hands was not important as a moral issue. In fact, He indicates that some traditions were actually causing people to commit dire sins. In this case, taking care of one’s parents and family was a moral imperative that they were attempting to sidestep. Clearly Jesus saw that caring for one’s aging parents should never be avoided.
Years ago, in the late 1980s, I worked with a home missionary who was from China. He had left his homeland in 1947 when the Communists took power. Thus, he could not go back. However, in the early 1990s travel to China was opened and he was able go back to his hometown. After years of exile he was able to finally see his 100 year old father for the first time in more than forty years.
The Chinese are well known for their great reverence for older people. Caring for aging parents is taken for granted by everyone. Someday your parents will be old (and so will you). They will depend on you to care for them. That’s a big part of honoring them.
Conclusion
To summarize, we are to honor our fathers and mothers. It’s the right thing to do! If we do, we are promised a good long life. As children and youth we depend on them for our care. When they are old they depend on us. It’s the natural cycle of life that God intended.
In the next installment we will analyze the Sixth Commandment: You shall not murder. (Exodus 20:13)
It is simply stated but is perhaps the most profound of them all. In light of our culture of death, its meaning has great relevance for the modern world. In part six we will define its meaning and explore the ways it should be correctly applied to our lives and to society.
© 2018 Tal Davis